Know-It-Alls come in flavors from mildly obnoxious to aggressively intolerable.
But the one thing they inspire in others is a frantic need to get away, which is actually one of the best ways to cope with them:
- According to F. Diane Barth, a clinical therapist quoted in psychologytoday.com, deciding to leave the conversation is something you can always do. You might have to be direct, saying, “I must go speak with some other people now. It was nice meeting you.”
- But what if the Know-It-All sits with you at lunch every day or, worse, is a relative you must endure at holiday dinners.
- The first thing to note is your reaction. Do you dislike the Know-It-All for his or her opinions or because the Know-It-All has trapped you in a one-sided, and therefore boring, conversation?
- If you dislike his opinions, and you wish to stay in the conversation, caring.com recommends you master the ‘yes…but’ strategy.
Sometimes an acknowledgment plus a transition like ‘but’ can stop the steamroller.
Barth notes that, since Know-It-Alls are often insecure, they take most contrary statements as criticism. One possible way to converse with them is to form your own opinions into a question for them to answer.
You can’t shut them down with direct confrontation, says Simon Casey, a psychologist in San Clemente, California, and the author of Secrets to Emotional Wealth. They tend to be egocentrics with an inability to admit they’re ever wrong even if they have limited knowledge.
The Know-It-All differs from the Constant Talker. While both dominate the conversation and often hold their listeners hostage, the Know-It-All has a subject and needs to be right. The Constant Talker just needs to talk and will talk about any sort of trivia, even the most simplistic or personal details.